Worth A Thousand Words

So, I'm new at this...

2011-12-08T23:17:00.001-05:00

This whole "being an adult and doing what you have to do while still feeling like you aren't a drone that has no direction.". I'm new to this situation of "Hey, be happy with your life, but make sure to work your ass off during it". I'm still kind of confused how to begin this phase of "Sacrifice yourself and hope that you get the chance to make up for it and have fun in your free time". I get used to it. Then all of a sudden, it is new for me all over again. I cycle through the thought that I'm a normal guy who is here to do normal thing, and the thought that I'm destine to do great things that this world can one day look back on and remember with a smile.

I am cursed with the inability to type in a way that is more coherent than my thoughts. The words in my mind are kind of running together because I am in the midpoint of these 2 cycles. You know, that spot on the symbol of infinity where the it goes to a point. I think that the person who developed that symbol actually had this exact same conversation with themselves at one point. "Oh man, this cycle goes on forever... it should be a circle... eh, nothing new". Then one day he was like "gah, this cycle is going on forever, it should be a circle... well wait, because i was already in a circle... but this is i guess the same circle... just a part of the circle... still feels like a cycle... GAH WHAT A TWIST IN MY LIFE THAT IS SO CYCLICAL AND GOES FOR EVER LIKE INFINIholy crap lightbulb". But seriously. I feel like this point in a person's life is probably one of the most annoying parts. Why? Because how are you supposed to know which cycle of thought is the most correct.

Don't get me wrong. I don't care who you are. If you are able to interact with a person (no matter how bad you are at it) then you are probably making a monumental difference in someone's life. I honestly don't think most people realize that. It is actually harder to go through this life without affecting another person's life for the better or the worse. For heaven's sake, the very way we are born affects the life of people. But I have always thought that I would have the chance to do things on a large scale. I mean like a LARGE scale. big thangs poppin, son. fo sho (yes, this is how I really talk).

Well.... this made no since what so ever. Good thing that nobody reads this blog anymore. I suppose overall its like I've hit the writer's block of life. I am sitting here typing on my netbook... while there are people out there who make commercials with neon windbreaker clad hamsters doing the Party Rock Shuffle to defend against killer robots. GAH why didn't I think of that!? To hell with you Kia Soul!

5 minute review- Google+

2011-08-24T22:27:00.000-04:00

Yes yes, Google+ is a novel idea if I do say so myself... and I did. Some see it as twitter+buzz+facebook. Some see it as another notch in their Google belt (which if they made google belts, I would so buy). Currently most see it as "that site I got in on beta for and don't really update much because I already have facebook.

I believe G+ has a lot of good points though. Its not going to make me trash my Facebook anytime soon, but it definitely does do somethings right. First thing is that it has a very clean interface. I don't feel like a billion things are going on when I am on the site. I don't worry about spam messages and 15 invites to events I probably don't want to go to. The main thing about G+ is the roll out of friend "Circles". I gotta admit. I love this. Its like my way of saying "hey, you are all important... but not important enough to read this particular message". There is a sense of power putting people in circles. You know exactly what is being shared, who is seeing it and how it looks when they see it. Another good thing is the Android App. that is about as sharp as a social networking razor. Minimalistic and easy to navigate.

There are some things that I wish they would incorporate though. One of which being the ability to write on people's page. It can be private. But, currently if want to share photos with a specific set of friends, they would need to either catch it on the general feed when I upload the pictures with just their names or go directly to my page and scroll through to see it. I guess I could tag them but gah, I got enough of tagging on facebook. They know what they look like. Also, I would like the ability to delete pictures out of my instant upload from my phone, without deleting the picture from my phone. That would be nice. At least the option.

also, seeing posts about google products in the past I will say this. Don't ask me for an invite. Seriously... if you can't find an invite from your circle of friends then you don't need Google+. You need Meetup.com. Just sayin.

Back to the swing of things

2011-08-24T22:01:00.000-04:00

(picture taken at David Cook/Ryan Starr concert)

Ok Ok Ok. to all of my loyal followers (hi mom).... I am sorry for neglecting my writing duties for such a long time. I have been busy. Life throws you some curve balls. Quite frankly, I'm not too big on baseball and its FRIGGIN HARD to hit a curve ball when you don't regularly swing a bat. Anyway, I will do better and update more, but first I must say a couple things...

First off, thanks to all of the random people who have been rummaging through this page and reading through my posts for seconds on end. Come to find out, if you want traffic from google, just use a couple hot words. Android is a biggie right now. It is especially so when coupled with the phrase "free app" or something like that. Also if you name a popular Musician mention a new album of theirs. BAM! you get google traffic.... from the UK... ok I can't explain that one. So thank you thank you. You are far too kind. read more of my blogs random folk because kanye west has a new iphone/android app that is supposed to be the best of all time.

Secondly, I'm going to start being more involved in the photography hobby again. That means I can update with more pictures. I really appreciate commentary regarding my pictures so feel free to comment as much as possible.

Thirdly... I think I will exploit this hot word fad and also go into some types of posts too. I definitely have some apps and music that I'm ready to share. So lets see how that goes.

Anyway, This is SayItLoud, Signing off. I will be more regular with updating this. Heck I'm going to update it right now!

Who's Got Talent?

2011-01-12T00:14:00.000-05:00

Got a talent that you would like to showcase and be reviewed? Email me at sayitloudbap@gmail.com. It can be a song, pictures, paintings, dancing, cooking (oh please be food) or anything you feel to express yourself. I will accept anything in good taste. I have a blog especially for this. I will unveil that particular site when I actually start getting a response.

LET OUT YOUR CREATIVITY. Nobody else can do it for you.

SayItLoud powering down.... *bink*

PART DEUX.... Friendship

2011-01-12T00:05:00.000-05:00

Without friends, what are we? I don't want to find out personally. But generally speaking the majority of people have some sort of friend somewhere out there. Some have more and some have less. But, most have some. So the question is, how do they affect our lives and what does the title friend mean? I say, shoot, I don't know, but lets try to figure this one out together.

Last time I talked about a person's life line and the fact that it runs its course in one direction. That direction is not altered but the width of the line does, as it is representative of the fullness of the moments. That ties into the discussion because one of the easiest ways of having a full life is spending the time with friends and those who care for you. Its not really a quantity thing though. Its an issue of quality. One thousand weak friends cannot equal 10 strong friends in methods of providing girth do ones life line. So with that said, let us assess some of the factors mentioned at the end of the last entry regarding the dimensions and standards of these friends.

So, what makes a good friend? what causes a person to gain a connection with another person strong enough to actually increase the quality of life of the two involved parties? Is it self preservation or something more/less? I say yes. With the immense amount of correct answers to such questions, one can only really just agree that the questions can be answered. I suppose I could give more specific answers of how I feel. You are welcome to give yours as well. Personally, I feel that a good friend is important to have. Whether it be 1 or 10, people should have a good friend. In my opinion, that "good friend" would be defined as someone who you share a bond with, through personal experiences, understood alignments or similar goals. As for what causes this bond... that's just circumstance. Easy enough. Fueled by fate or coincidence, depending on your belief system. The possibilities on how to build a bond are much to varied to really cause it any other way than just luck of the draw. Its like combining 2 different unknown elements under and trying to predict how they will react with each other. You can make a guess, but the fact is, you won't know the outcome until it comes out. Of course we all hope for a reaction that will strengthen our life line, but sometimes it won't.

This picture actually has a good example of this. The two guys in the picture are friends. The strength of their friendship is not mine to rate, but they have known each other a while. Together they sit and play together in this music room, after an open mic night has long sense stopped. They don't talk much. As a sat there and listen they just played music with each other. Speaking to each other through chords and notes. Smiles and laughs and good feelings switching back and forth between them. You can't plan that. It just happens. When it happens, you can be a more fulfilled person because of it. I don't even know if they are still playing together, but friendship isn't measured by time. It is measure by the effect.

But, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you can will a friendship into being. It rarely works for me. I can see it working some of the time. But a friendship built completely on will power to be friends when there is no connection is not a strong enough bond. It may even last forever but it will not fulfill... most of the time. Creating or retaining bonds with people based on looks, money or reputation alone will most likely build a relationship more suited as a business transaction in the long run. I personally have tried to build these before and have actually ended up hurt in the long run. Values didn't match, eyes didn't meet and purpose was no long important. If you try to build a friendship in this method I wish you much luck though. You will need it. May it greatly widen your life line *smile*.

Ramble ramble ramble. sorry for such the delay in getting this one done. I actually started it. Walked away... started it again... then realized I started 2 different versions of it.

Anyway, I wonder what my next blog should be about... any ideas?

SayItLoud OUT!

p.s.-I should make a SayItLoud logo. that would be SO cool. if anybody decides to make me one I will send you a picture I took. Make it so.

I get by with a little help from my friends (apparently part 1)

2010-11-04T23:03:00.000-04:00

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the next installment of "SayItLoud feels like rambling and hopes people read it". On todays show we have a special guest and a really close friend of mine. Thats right folks, I am talking about the one and only SAYITLOUD!!!!! (clap clap clap)

Thank you, thank you. You're far to kind. Ok on to more important things.

Believe that when we are put on this earth, we are directional. Lets say it is like life is a line. Time is the force that keeps it going in a single direction. Every choice you make keeps you on that line. If I decide to eat breakfast tomorrow morning that isn't going to change the direction of my line. If i decide to be an astronaut, it will not add an angle to my life line. basically it keeps you on the line. the only time the line changes is when the life ends. That doesn't stop the line but curves it. I suppose that is for another conversation though. ANYWAY the point of the matter is that we go forward in life and the direction is living, the force is time and the length is irrelevant for this discussion.

I know it sounds like a very boring way to think about life. like some sort of deterministic train that does not stop and only allows you to see out the windows. Lets not think of it this way. I am a firm believer of free will (kind of... yet another conversation). Lets think of it as you are in a magical house. the house isn't on land but floating in a straight line in a certain direction. You move around in the house. You do activities in the house. You make decisions in the house. But, regardless the house is moving forward. Now with that said, back to my original line. The line is going in a direction with a constant force pushing it along. What makes our lines interesting and variable? Oh that my friends is the thickness. Its all about the girth... *cough*.

The Thickness of the line is where our subject (FINALLY) comes into play. Though our jobs, houses, cars, and hobbies may make the line thicker or thinner in spots, its really the people you are with that really generate a strong line. Its almost like you are allowing them to lay the line on top of your line. The thickness is something that you feel. It could be an empty feeling. That could better be described as a thin feeling. or you could feel all mushy on the inside. That could be describe as a bit of an extra thickness inside you... scratch that... that could be described as the thickness of life (gooey thick like syrup). So overall, how do you get a thicker line? Well you get a thick line with a little help from your friends, of course. Not just any friends. Not just a lot of friends. But good friends.

So what makes a good friend? What makes you want to keep a friend around? Should all friends be forever? Well seeing as how I've rambled on this one enough. I want some of your thoughts on this. I will have a part 2 coming up very soon. :-).

SayItLoud-"Hey guys, I don't want to be long winded.... leave a comment ok?"
audience-"Hey SayItLoud, we don't feel like commenting... can't you just type something?"
SayItLoud-"No commenting makes me cry though"
audience-"ok, we will comment. don't cry. we love you, man"

Yes I put a dialogue of me convincing you to comment. The more comments I get... the more motivation I get.

quick post to say i will post soon

2010-11-03T00:04:00.000-04:00

I will make a post tomorrow.

Sit. Take a load off. Grab yourself a drink. Its a good day to relax.

Maybe we will talk about friendships. What keeps you bound to a person? What does it take to break that bond? Small things? Big things? General or specific things? Weird things, mean things? Red things, green things? I'd say I've seen things. Lets talk about them.

We Need to Have More Fun

2010-09-30T00:06:00.001-04:00

I think that as a culture we have too much going on. We have to work. But then we need That to pay bills. And we need bills to stay in a nice place to live. But really what is the point? I mean I understand that we do need some money to live but I think we have focused on I so much that we have gotten lost in the process of making good money. What kind of world do we live in? I say that we need a living revolution or something. Wouldn't it be great to worry less about the job and more about what you do after? Too bad it is not as feasible as it should be. With this money focus in our culture, we have made thing so expensive that you have to work your body to death to have anything worth paying for. Even foods is expensive. Every day food. That is without the actual expensive things. Like rare foods that need to be should shipped from some country across the world. Or something that takes long to make. Heck, we pay more for food that is easy to make quick than food that takes effort to prepare. They is backwards when you think about it. So how do we fix this? Can we fix this? Should we even think about out? Who knows, but I have to get to sleep so I can get up in the morning and make money for the rent. By the way, I typed this on my phone with a mixture of a couple programs. I will let you know how I feel about them next time. Maybe a review?

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.0

The reason I take pictures

2010-09-11T09:26:00.000-04:00

I tend to be the type of person that lives in the moment and beyond toward the future. I rarely think into the past unless provoked. This isn't a horrible thing I'd imagine. I would much rather be someone who is forward focused than backward facing. I suppose both in their purest form are not exactly ideal ways to be though. Therefore I take pictures. These help me remember. They keep me backdated.

When I look at my little brother I can't help but think how cute he is right now. How smart he is. How well behaved he is (comparatively speaking) and how much he loves to love people. Then I think how much fun he had at his first day of school because he is so social in those kinds of situations. Then I start to wonder how he will be at school a couple years down the road. How will his grades be? What sort of crowd will he run with? Oh I hope it isn't the cool kids. I don't want to hope for my little brother to be a nerd, but I wasn't a cool kid in high school. I would hope that if he and I were in the same high school at the same time, that we would friends. I'm sure he will be cool though. Then he will go off to college and be awesome there. Studying something I could never wrap my mind around and understanding it completely. As you can tell, my mind wanders forward.

Now I look back at a picture like this one. he was about 1 year old in this picture (~11 months or so, for you baby people). Looking at it floods me with thoughts of the past and how he has grown up. It reminds me of that moment and my forward wandering mind floats forward through the other 4-5 years of his existence before the present. He apparently has always had a goofy smile. This is not a bad thing. His big brother has a goofy smile. It is a genuinely happy smile that he carries to this day. It isn't half hidden to make sure it is cute. It isn't planned to only be done at the right moment. He wears it when he is happy and only takes it off when he is not happy. The picture makes me think of something different every time I see it, and I love it.

I feel like I've had a blog like this before. I dunno. I 'm bad with timelines, but hey, thats why I take pictures. That is not why I'm in photography. Its why when you see me with a camera, you will probably have a picture taken of you. Its why I will every so often ask for a picture from you. Its why I go to a party, take my camera and hand it to someone else to take pictures. I don't care how the moment is captured, who captures it, or what it is captured with. I just need it to be captured to remember you for all you deserve to be remembered for.

Will You Remember Me When I'm Gone...

2010-04-16T18:33:00.002-04:00

Without memories, what makes us more than mindless bullets? Barreling toward a target with no knowledge of where we came from and no recollection of why we left. They are not a item to dwell on. The consequences of that could be worse. So I suppose we as humans have a bit of a balancing act at all times to tangle with. When to hold on and when to let go. How tight to hold on. What is best to remember and what is the best way to remember them.

How do you hold your memories? Do you write them down in a journal/diary? Do you tell stories about your past? I'd imagine that you've gathered that I keep my memories in picture form. One main reason for doing this is that I have a horrible memory. I seem to have misplaced much of my childhood memories as well, so I am very sure I do not want this to happen any more. Not sure why it happened. Maybe some traumatic experience that caused my mind to reject it. Well I wouldn't know obviously. I can't remember it! Either way, I find it very disturbing how a block of life can be experienced and then left undocumented in the seemingly flawless mental notebook. It can't be too uncommon though, so I can't help but assume that everybody has their own methods of keeping things fresh in mind and recalling them when needed.

The lack of ability to recall has left me with a bit of a need I think. I always need to know more about others. I am always digging for information about people. Maybe in hopes that I can find a bit more about my own past. I know it won't help. It might not even be the reason for my thirst for knowledge of information from others. I think this picture makes me see that part of me a bit though. I'm curious if this album puts you in the mind of anything. Yes you. The reader. The people I open up to every blue moon. Yes I want you to respond every so often. really. I digress.

As for me, I see this album and I can't help but to feel a bit sad. This album was for sale at a massive flea market along with a bunch of other trinkets and such. Instruments that no longer work but look older than me. Jewelry that was old, and rusty and basically worthless. When I saw this album it struck me though. The wear on it showed age. the pages showed it was well used. The bright color red cover with the faded gold color binding. All of these things made me think that this was once something that held very important pictures. This was an album that struck someone's attention because it was perfect for their memories. Now it was being sold so cheap that buying it would have seemed like an insult to it.

I don't know, maybe I am just sentimental. I'm probably the only person that looked at the album and felt that way. Oh now Sayitloud sounds all soft and stuff. Expressing feelings and stuff like that. Now I have to go chop some wood or build something.

formspring.me

2010-03-04T18:42:00.001-05:00

Can you explain polymer rheology to me?

No. No I cannot. But from what I can gather, It basically deals with the properties of materials. More specifically, their viscosity, molecular structure and how that relates to their method and ability to flow under different circumstances. Like water flows a certain way. Milk flows a certain way. glass flows a certain way. So basically basically all of that related specifically to polymers. I could be way off. That is seriously about 45 seconds worth of research. If anybody has more insight... by all means enlighten me.

Ask me anything

Pimp My Droid!

2010-02-27T18:05:00.007-05:00

Well Well Well. What do we have here? It looks like SayItLoudBAP just decided to update his blog. I know what you may be thinking. "Oh SayItLoud! You are so cool and awesome! How do you find the time to write a blog that is so awesome that is shakes the very fiber of our being!?" I answer you by saying... Skillz.

Ok, but seriously, I don't really update this as much as I should. Please friend me, or RSS me. That way, if I do update, you can see it when it happens. It makes me feel important. Me feeling important should be on your priority list. Ok now on to the show.

As you may know by know, I have a Motorola Droid running Googles very own Android 2.01 Operating system. I would just like to say that I am very impressed with the phone and the flexibility that it provides me. Iphone killer? Who cares? better than Blackberry? So what? The simple fact is that this phone is a great phone. This is due to the simplicity of its usage but the complexity of its potential. So you are looking into getting the phone? Maybe you have the phone and looking into getting into it more. Well thats why I am writing this blog. I am going to list a couple of the programs I have used on my Droid and how I feel about them. Hopefully it will give you insight on your droid future.

So lets get this started. Shall we?

Astro File Manager

This is VERY good addition to you new android phone. The biggest reason being that your phone reads the SD card like a little external drive. By that, I mean that you have the ability to look at your files just like you'd look at them if they were on your computer. Browsing through files and and folders. Moving them from one folder to another. Organizing them however you would like. Out of the box, the Droid does not have very many efficient ways of pulling this off. You can move files from folder to folder but It is not the most user-friendly thing to do. With this program you have the ability to create folders, reorganize files, see what programs are running in the background and even hide folders! Why would you want to hide a folder from view of others? I don't know... I mean... I never really keep pictures on my phone that others shouldn't see... I've never handed my phone to somebody because "oh that phone is so cool let me see it!" only to snatch it back yelling "OH WAIT! I HAVE TO... um... text somebody... NO I'M NOT DELETING PICTURES I DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE".... ... *cough*. Ok, you know what? Whatever, it can come in handy. Also if you feel you are running to many things at one time, the program has the ability to open a process manager, which allows you to kill programs that are not needed at that moment.

I definitely recommend this program as a first download for you and your phone.

Gmote

Have you ever said to yourself "Self... I wish I could control my computer from my cellphone"? Well as silly of a request that may be, there is now an option for you. The Gmote is an android app that turns your Google phone into a computer remote control. This isn't using your phone to control your itunes (iphone jab). This program actually communicates through your computer through a wifi connection and controls it. You can control the media players, you can select files from predetermined folders and you can play them on your computer or even on your phone! I believe you can even play music that is on your phone through the wifi connection to your computer. But wait! there's more! You also have the ability to use your android phone's keyboard on the computer. The screen actually will become a touch pad for mouse functionality. The use of this may seem a bit limited. But think of it this way. You have a media server that is hooked up to your TV. you have a keyboard and mouse on it so you can navigate the files. now you can use your gmote instead.

useful? not always. But it is a file I like to have on hand just in case.

Ringdroid Music Editor

Ok when I first downloaded this app, I was just playing around. I didn't know what it did. I figured it would give me a couple free ringtones or something. I was wrong. This is a very cool and powerful app for the Android OS. Unlike many cellphones that only allow you to have ringtones that are downloaded or converted through an outside program to some proprietary format, The Android OS allows you to use normal files as ringtones and notifications. Ringdroid takes it to another level. This program will let you record and edit any music or sound file on your device. It uses a synthesizer view to give you added accuracy when cutting a song in the exact spot you want. I make ringtones for fun on this application. Start anywhere and make it as long as you want. If you are one of those people who change ringtones every day or keep different ringtones for everybody, this is the program for you.

I see no downside to having this program. anybody can use it. Its as easy as sliding your finger.

SHAZAM!

Yes I know that is the incorrect icon for it. I picked it because... well... its shazam. back up off me and let me describe the program. gah!

If you have had a smartphone already then you probably know what shazam is. If you have not then this is a really handy little tool that comes in handy more often than you would think. What is the song that is on the radio? shazam it. What song is this playing in the bar? Shazam it. Basically it picks up on the song and tells you the artist, album and name of the song. It also saves it in a log so you can look at it later. You also have the ability to order the song directly from the program. SHAZAM! I KNOW THAT SONG! This is definitely a program that I use atleast once a week. I am horrible at remember songs.

Notepad

Just search for one. There are like 50. One will do the trick I'm sure. No review. Just sayin.

But I will say this... Google, why would you not just put this program on the phone? a place for notes. Oh well I guess voice notes are the new wave anyway but wait... you don't have a voice note app either. you have voice recording capability but no native program. For shame Google... for shame.

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT

The top 5 apps that I have on my android phone that you should add right now. RIGHT NOW. I did not include games on this list because I am not a big gamer. But I will now put a short list of honorable mentions on here that I like that you should look into as well.

Pandora Radio-You already know what it is

Slacker Radio- Its like pandora except different

Blogaway- Lets you post blogs from your cellphone. pretty easily

Google Translate- Very powerful language tool. Voice capabilities as well

Google Goggles- So cool they made it standard in Android 2.1. Just download it

GPS Status- All kinds of information including speed, direction, altitude and acceleration

Meebo- Weak IM program but allows you to use facebook chat

Mototorch LED- The Motorola Droid has a bright flash. use it to see where you are

Robo Defense- Awesome game. defend your base against the hordes of tanks.

and so much more. Let me know if you have any others you'd like to add. I'll add them to the list. Sayitloudbap@gmail.com .

thanks for the patience. and thanks for reading this long friggin blog

formspring.me

2010-02-19T07:10:00.001-05:00

If you could visit any country in the world, where would you go? Who would you want going with you?

I'm thinking either Japan, Spain or India. in that order. I would like a cute girl to go with me. I'll name names when I get around to planning where :P. Overall I want a place that would make awesome pictures.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-02-17T20:57:00.001-05:00

whats your favorite video game?

As of current, I would say Street Fighter IV. That is if I am playing with someone else of equal skill. Of all time is a hard question. But after redownloading it for my ps3... Jet Moto for the original Playstation.

Ask me anything

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR 2010!

2010-02-14T12:38:00.002-05:00

And Valentines Day, for those who celebrate it as well.

To be honest, I've never really been a big fan of Valentines Day. Because I don't have a valentine? Though it does not help the situation, it is not the reasoning. I have never really liked the idea of it really. Its been so pushed into a "boyfriend\girlfriend" category that it is pretty good about excluding all of those who are not in those types of relationships. Not only that, but it seems to force people to do something one day that they should be spreading across the entire year. I also think it has turned into a spending frenzy. Having a tendency to lean toward the pocket of the man wining and dining his girl for the day. For the record I am well aware that many of you ladies out there put effort in full force for your significant other on Vday, but the holiday has made a turn to where it is almost expected to go to extravagant places and giving expensive gifts. Christmas is pushed in the same way but at least it is built on something a bit more solid than a temporary relationship.

Yes I said it. Boyfriend/Girlfriend relationships are temporary relationships. Husband/Wife is a bit different. But honestly I don't see as many married couples going all out on these kinds of occasions as I do for those who had a different valentine last year and will most likely have a different one the next. Ain't nothing wrong with that. Just saying the holiday is targeting that genre and its over saturation tends to throw it in the face of those who are single saying "aw don't you wish you could get this stuff sent to you? sucks not being loved eh?". When in actuality those people are just as loved. Just between temporary relationships or not in a permanent one.

With that said, I don't hate on people who celebrate the occasion. Its a good time to spend time. Gives you a special opportunity to do something with someone. I just wish it was more about spending time with someone and not spend savings on them. Expensive restaurants shouldn't be busy on these days. Parks should be. Coffee houses should be. Art Galleries and plays should be. Netflix should be overloaded and Blockbuster should be busting with customers. These things should be utilized instead of heart shaped candy, high dollar jewelry and cheesy cards. Wait, I take that back. I like the cards. Some of the cards are funny.

You may think I'm bitter. You are only half correct. You may think I'd be different if I weren't currently single. You are incorrect. You may think I am good looking and in possession of an awesome personality. Well you can't be wrong all the time. Either way, I say Happy Chinese New Year (Tiger Style) and happy Valentines day. And good day to you Chinese people who have significant others. for you, 2 for 1 special.

The picture is not mine btw. I found it. I never really thought about taking a picture for Chinese Valentine New Year Day

formspring.me

2010-02-13T09:30:00.002-05:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/sayitloudbap

I also added a widget on the side of this page. I will answer anything. It can be about me or about the world. Ask my opinion and I will give it to you.... from da back

Blog from the phone. Could be interesting...

2010-01-31T23:08:00.001-05:00

Well I had something all typed up and my blogger app on my phone crashed. Well basically I was just expressing that I am excited (which may make me a nerd) that I have a decent blog app for my new phone. This means that I am able to post more freely. So you will probably see more updates than normal. I will try to keep them as interesting as possible. But then again, I am assuming you found them interesting to begin with. Well if you didn't before... no worries it is going to be business as usual. If you did find me interesting then I will try to keep up the good work.

Speaking of good work, I would like to know what people really think about my blog (you like how I transitioned that right?). I am not one to push my stuff on people but would like some commentary. You don't have to agree with me. Would prefer you not actually. Makes it more interesting. But comments let me know what direction to go next. So leave one. Tell many friends. Then they should leave one. I am needy. Feed me dang it!

Lets keep this short...Defense Mechanisms

2010-01-12T10:37:00.004-05:00

I've noticed a bit of interesting phenomenon lately. Its not new by any stretch of the mind, but it has caught my eye here lately. I think you may know what I'm talking about, since I tend to use descriptive blog titles.

People hold some of the oddest methods of protecting their feelings. Present company is included in this statement (not me of course, but the dogs that are sitting beside me. nothing odd about me). The picture would signify one of the methods people use to cope with their pain. Alcohol is a popular one but is rarely effective. Some people close off to the world and ignore all those around them until they can find a way to suppress the feeling. Some Lash out at all people within a blast radius so that those around can feel the pain too. I am personally partial to the act of playing like I'm ok with things but actually being very upset. Not quite implosive but more of a "I am hurt but nobody else really needs to deal with it. I'll let it out on my own time".

With all of these examples and all of the ways I've seen it, I can say one thing rings constant. They don't really work. Not a one. Why do we all have these defense mechanisms when they are proven to be failures in a general sense? Its like running a marathon and the finish line is specified as "10 yards past however far you run". Made for failure and yet still so popular. I suppose the reason is that defense mechanisms keep us from having to deal with things head on. Dealing with things directly will probably be more useful in the long run but comparatively speaking it really isn't nearly as consistent. At least with defense mechanisms you always end with the same thing. Hurt feelings but they were acknowledged and responded to.

What is your defense for hurt feelings? Anybody? or shall this be an empty comment blog? lol

Hey! Isn't this supposed to be a photoblog?

2010-01-04T16:19:00.003-05:00

Quiet you! Stop asking such silly questions! Of course it is a photoblog. I just can't seem to remember to talk about the pictures. :)

Anyway, here are some "very raw" pictures. They give you that IN YOUR FACE style with no photoshoppy shuga coating. Cuz i be takenin it to the streets yo. Fo realz. Keepin it gangsta.

ok here are some pictures.

Grandfather. I love this picture of him. He looks so serious in this picture. He is such a joker though. He has been through so much though. I think you can see that in this picture. I'm very thankful of him and the gift of family that comes with him.

Well. its water. I was trying to get the ripple effect. correction I was trying for an hour to get the ripple effect. No artistic commentary on this one really. I was just pretty gosh darn excited when I finally managed to pull it off. yessssssssss

What we have here is a dog. Not just any dog. But my sister's dog. She has 2. If you go back into the blog a bit you will see both of them together. I believe it was a blog about being comfortable with the one you love. GiGi (the dog pictured) is a very interesting animal indeed. She is from the streets. You can see it in her walk and her behavior. She shows unconditional love to her mother and those close to her yet still always has a wild side that wants to leave and explore. She doesn't want to run away. she just wants to see what else is out there. She is a very calm and collected soul. Loving but not intrusive. When I saw this picture later I thought to myself "this is the personality of GiGi". This isn't particularly profound I guess. "Oooooo the personality of a dog". but when you think about it, you have to understand it on a deeper level. I have a dog here that has enough personality to actually show up in picture. So when we are looking at a picture of a person, what are we looking at? People can be so much more complicated than other animals. So is what really attracts us to a picture, the looks of a person, the personality shining through, or a combination of the 2?

ok, i'll update with more pictures at a later date.

If you have any suggestions of blogs you want talked about let me know. If you have anything that you've seen that you think would be fun to review, let me know. I will find it and I will review it. I'm flexible. SayItLoudBAP@gmail.com

GET AT ME DAWG

An Altered State Of Mind...

2009-12-23T02:34:00.004-05:00

Purple haze all around

Don't know if I'm comin' up or down

Am I happy or in misery?

Whatever it is, that girl put a spell on me

-Jimmy Hendrix

I can say that I have never done any sort of drug outside of the occasional alcoholic beverage. Even with that, I very rarely drink to excess. Well what difference does this make? Well hold on, I'll tell you. The point is, our minds are very complicated things. Two people can look at the same thing and perceive two totally different things. They could very well be seeing things totally differently. It can be caused by many things and the use of artificial substance is only one. Therefore, when I speak of an altered state of mind in this blog, I do not refer to that particular cause, but more of a general state caused by different things.

Most of my blogs are direction-less rambling comprised of loosely connected ideas forced together by my unwillingness to read over what I've typed for lack of cohesion. This blog will be no different. BAM take that "writing standards"! Seriously, though, turn back now if you are not ok with this... actually keep reading anyway.

Ok, altered state of mind. have you ever looked at something and thought "Gee golly, that is beautiful", only to find out later that you seem to be the ONLY person who feels this way? Hmmm... maybe I lost you. how about this. Have you ever looked into the eyes of somebody and felt as if they were speaking to you even though they weren't actually talking? Have you ever played a video game or watched a movie and because so connected to it that you actually feel the emotions that would normally couple being in the situations portrayed on the screen? These are times where it seems as if one's mind is stepping to the side of its normal course and for a short period of time, takes its own path. One that is not designated by the tracks of the Ego or rational thought. Basically the mind saying "ok, so I'm not totally sure what to think here so I'm just going to throw this out there and see how much of it matches real life". The question is, Should this be something that is sought after? There are many people who seek a different way of thinking. A higher level of life comprehension maybe? They seek it pretty hardcore. Drugs, jumping out of airplanes (perfectly good airplanes for that matter), sexual exploration, scary movies, relationships... the list goes on. We as a society have categorized which are acceptable means and which are not civilized. I wonder how we decide on which action goes in what category.

"Excuse me, while I kiss the sky"

How bad can an a free mind be anyway? We dream, right? I don't know about your dreams, but mine don't always fall too close to the realm of reality and sometimes they even give insight into things that I would not have gathered in clear thought. Think of all the music that was developed during a fit of wandering thought. Hell, the song quoted was apparently produced from a dream (or drugs... but I'm going with the dream since thats what jimmy said). I've had dreams that came into fact. I've had facts to come into dreams. Some are wild and hard to describe and some are simple and connected. I'm sure you all could say the same. Yes, you all. All 2 of you who read this representation of misappropriated time I call a blog. It seems to be something we can't avoid. No matter how much we try to keep a level head in all situations. Some even try to keep it in their sleep. But seriously, what is a level head in the grand scheme of things? People's perception really just the brain translating signals its getting from multiple senses and arranging them in a way that it can make sense anyway. Translation is the assignment of a symbol that is understood by the receiver to a item that is not understood. A cat is a cat. cat is a neko. a cat is a gato. but really is something that we see and assign a name to. a name being a symbol that we can understand. different people who speak different languages assign different symbols but they all represent the same thing. I lost myself I think. I doubt anybody has read this far. its about 5 in the morning and I have been writing this on and off since about 2. I could possibly be delirious, but what i'm saying is that the color I name blue is the same color you name blue, but we may not see these colors the same way due to a different perception. So we agree on what the name of something in real life but... ok. I'm rambling. All i'm saying is that the line between altered state of mind and unaltered state of mind is probably a lot thinner than one would think. DONE with that.

IN CONCLUSION. I am tired and lacking sleep. I hope you like this picture that I took. it really isn't altered too much. I just corrected the white balance. The picture started off completely red. I just took out the red wash over. Either way, the leaves aren't purple, they are green. trust me. I saw the reality. Your view is altered. But, I suppose everybody's can be altered to a point. We as a species focus so heavily on having a clear mind and being able to see things exactly as they are, we sometimes neglect the wonders of seeing things how they may not be.

NAACP, we need to talk

2009-12-13T16:44:00.002-05:00

I will keep this one short. I should probably get back to my normal contemplative picture oriented blogs soon.

I took this picture at an NAACP march in Raleigh. My uncle is a very active member in a local branch of the NAACP. I feel there is still a need for a group like the NAACP even with the amount of progression we've had in race relations over the years. I have a slight bone to pick with you though.

We need to work on image. I won't name any names but we (I say we because NAACP has equaled black people for a while now for some reason) have been catching a lot of bad PR due to jumping prematurely into issues without full knowledge of the issue or full reason to a full attack. Well, I see it as this, if you disagree with me then you are more than welcome to comment, if you want an effective organization that is good for the long run... you need to not piss everybody off. You are the organization of helping advance colored people. ALL colors. You should probably try to make this more known. People think you only deal in African American. Also you are a big enough organization that you look intrusive and nitpicky when you push very small singular issues. Not a huge problem except when you bring down the wrath of CP on a small issue, you better make sure that it is gonna affect things in a big way. AND YOU BEST MAKE SURE YOU ARE DEALING WITH AN IMPORTANT ISSUE THAT YOU ARE CORRECT ON!

For everybody else.... stop complaining about the NAACP about every little issue that you see them in. You may think that they are just in it for the publicity and to get faces on TV, but they are trying to help people. There may be a couple faces that are looking for the limelight but don't make that a reflection of the entire organization. You may not see the good directly but the good is being done. You may say it is a racist organization but there is a difference between racist and wanting equal treatment.

The End

P.S.- I love people of all colors. except your color. get out of my blog *shakes fist at computer screen*

GOOGLE WAAAAAAAAVE

2009-12-09T01:11:00.002-05:00

This must be what online maps felt like when they came out.

As you know from reading previous entries here (if you don't read here normally... do it) I have recently acquired Googles new idea of the future of "E-Mail". Basically they took the ideas from a lot of the online communication concepts, added in gadgets derived from online tools, and then they smashed them together. I will say that I was overall VERY impressed with this new "wave" in electronic communication. I will also say it is not perfect. So I will give you the good, the bad, and the ugly ( by ugly I mean conclusion... I just wanted to keep up with the original good bad ugly thing) in the best way I can.

OK, so do I like Google? Yes, I do. Should you be worried that I am not objective in the assessment of this product? No you should not be worried. Why? Because it is a blog. You really shouldn't worry about many things in blogs. They aren't worth it. Anyway, This is just a rough idea of my opinion on the program. I will not go into intense detail of what Google Wave is because you can figure that out easily. Alright, so lets get started shall we?

Lets start off with the good! This e-tool is really a powerhouse as far as online inventions are concerned. I got my invite, had about 2 people to play with on there. I didn't really see how it would be much more than a pretty email. Now I have more contacts waving about. I now see how this makes things easier. An example would be a friend of mine who sent a wave to those in the area about a Christmas party. She loves having gatherings and normally does things like evites or facebook events. This time she used Google Wave. I told her that I may be in town so she added me to the list a couple days later. When she added me I immediately saw the wave exactly how she sent it. No worries about forwards being weirdly formatted. I clicked on it and saw all of the information I needed in a very easy to read format AND realtime updates. If I sat in front of the email I would be able to see people typing out there reasoning for not being able to go, or editing the information to reflect updates. There was even a poll inside of the wave to let everybody know who will be there.

Not done yet. I believe this could be the perfect tool for the coordination of information and events between a fluid group of people. By fluid group of people, I am referring to a group of people who may increase or decrease as time progresses. All of the people involved will need all of the same information quickly and must add to or subtract from it when needed. Lets say you have a group of people who want to go on a trip. You could actually have one wave that has information about the event, while another person adds information about the location which includes a map with the location pointed out. Later someone else in the group can add locations of hotels on the map and listing the pricing of each hotel labeled. In that wave, people can also discuss transportation while keeping the wave clean and readable. This is an actual wave that I have going on. I was added in at the tail end of it. I was clueless on the process when I was added. I just saw a huge wave and didn't know who got what information. OH BUT WAIT. It has a playback button. So I can actually re-watch the information being inserted in a bit of an accelerated fashion. I even saw the questions that were asked and deleted. These are extremely useful things that email could not dream of. Evites aren't really able to support such a group effort. Facebook... ok facebook is facebook. this is on a different level. Not to mention everything looks good. Especially for being in the VERY beginning stages. I do have some problems though.

For one thing, its not really that open yet. Its a matter of time I'm sure, but dang it, I need people to make this work. Unlike the roll out of gmail, this is ONLY usable with other people who have google wave. I think the overall lack of cross over interface is extremely hindering the usefulness of it. I can't send a wave to a person using email and just have it converted. I can't recieve an email that is sent to google wave. I can understand you want to bring in something new but I feel a transition is important. Another issue is that it is hardcore on your computer. I actually have a friend who opened google wave and her computer yelled "holy crap dude I can't handle this right now!" as it slows to a creep. One thing about email is that you can use it on just about any computer EVER. It may not be in its full capacity, but you can at the very least check it. Also, you need a Gmail account to have Google Wave. GREAT! I agree with this. Because that means they can send you notifications through Gmail when you get a wave so you know when to check it... wait... they don't have that? noooo they don't. I'm sure you will add it later. Please? I can be pinged in the program but I won't know when it happens because I have no way of being notified of it. That should be it. Thanks Google. Fix dat ish please.

IN CONCLUSION (the ugly... which isn't really ugly), I can't wait for this to fully roll out and get integrated with other things. I have seen the usefulness of Wave and I want to have more people using it. I want my next company to use it. I want to be able to wave with clients to give them all of the information they need while in a quasi-conversation with them. I want to use the conference calling feature to connect with other employees while giving them information through wave. I want you... I want you sooooo baaaaaaad its driving me mad, its driving me mad.

BTW I have invites. If you want it send an email to sayitloudbap@gmail.com while supplies last. I will edit this and delete this opportunity when I run out of invites.

Thanks for listening! let me know your feelings :)

VERIZON I'M LOOKIN AT YOU!

2009-11-27T20:10:00.002-05:00

so first off, I have to apologize again for neglecting you. I have been kinda busy. Random stresses and such. Things that I'm sure you don't care about because well... um.... they aren't important :)

With that said I shall start my Verizon rant. half of this was written on my Blackberry Storm. you will obviously know what part I typed on there and where i copied, and sent to this.

Dear Verizon,

I have been a customer of yours for as long as I can remember. I am almost a Verizon fanboy. I love the service and love to hear my friends complain about not getting a signal in there house. I had the option of switching to AT&T and getting the IPhone but I ended up getting the blackberry pearl. As a matter of fact I am typing this in my blackberry storm memo pad. So I tell you that when I speak it is not as an advertisement for switching to another carrier. It is merely a suggestion from a valued customer that getting tired of some things.

First thing would have to be your rates. I am very happy that you keep you prices the same as everybody else. The problem is that you charge extra for things that are normal for the phones and offered free at other providers. We are not stupid. We notice this. Jerk.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

But seriously guys. Why make things so hard on us? All I want from you a phone that you don't gimp. Commercials with a bit more to them (because i'm tired of the current ones) and the comfort in knowing that you aren't poking at my pocket every chance you get. forreal? 100 bucks a month already. NO I DON'T WANT TO GET MORE SHIZZLE!

Oh, and stop pushing random applications to my phone that I can't delete. I don't want it. It cost me more money. Now you are taking up memory with all of these dang icons and if I delete them they come back after reboot. I know the blackberry has the ability to do many things. Lets also remember though, that this is not an Iphone. your typical 13 year old does not have a blackberry. So you do not have to spoon feed me your stuff. If I want it I know where to find it. I mean you DO send me text messages about them. spammers.

I plan on getting the Droid because I feel it may be a step in the right direction. If it is not then I will burn down your company. I don't know how. but I will make it happen.

You have been warned.

love,
SayItLoud

Blogs in the works...

2009-11-21T10:19:00.002-05:00

Ok people this is just a general blog to let you know that I have about 3 or more different entries that I am sorting out right now. I will lay them out fairly quick behind each other so when they come just keep checking for more. Here are some that are on the horizon...

Dear Verizon. I love you but don't play with my emotions. You know I don't want to switch but you have to really help a brotha out on some stuff, k?

Google Wave is pretty sweet. With that said, we should probably open it up a bit more because having 5 people to talk to on it is kind of weak. REVIEW IS SO COMING THOUGH!

NAACP. I love what you stand for. I love where you came from. I hate how you are making yourself look. You are the laughing stock of civil organizations and quite frankly I'm tired of it.

Video Game Review Maybe? Borderlands? FPS+RPG with weapons that go boom, zap, sizzle and boil (i don't know the sound for acid).

Short Review for the new film Ninja Assassin That is coming to a theater near you on November 25. There will be blood. Lots of it. But its ok because none of it looks the least bit realistic. I'll try to get this one out before the 25 so you can actually get a review before opening day.

And on that note I believe I will continue with my day. It shall be an exciting day indeed. Too bad this isn't a personal day to day blog.

Just kidding, yall wouldn't care about a Day In The Life of SayItLoud blog.... or would you?

nah...

well...

maybe?

no?

oh....

well bump you, I don't want to read about you either so HA!

Update on Sunday. Then maybe Monday. Then possibly Tuesday.

PENDING REVIEW- Google Wave

2009-10-13T10:16:00.003-04:00

BTW, I don't have it yet, but I have been invited and should get it soon-ish. So you know what that means? that means that SAYITLOUD REVIEW SQUAD is on the case. when this comes out I will give you as thorough of a review as possible. They say this is the new wave of email. They say that it will be one of the best things to hit the net in a LONG time. I say, let me see for my self. I have seen videos of it and I must say that I am currently impressed. If you want a quick idea of what it is. Let me show you a video that I was sent on youtube about it.

so yeah its pretty sweet.

But I want to take this time to get ideas from YOU THE READER! I want YOU to tell me what YOU want to see in this review. I want YOU to tell me what YOU think is important information that should be looked into. I want YOU to comment on here. I want YOU to email me at sayitloudbap@gmail.com. This is your chance to basically have a customizable review especially for you.

with that said, I can't wait to get my hands on this new "wave" of e-technology. the internet is wonderful.

SayitloudBAP

P.S.- I can't really give out invites yet either. so its best not to ask for those.

I Took Your Picture...

2009-09-17T00:16:00.002-04:00

With one particular,
reason and its to,
capture your character
-Black Eye Peas

I'm a photographer. This is not me in the photo. This is a friend of mine but I took the picture. I really only like to post my own photos, therefore if I was the one in the picture it would obviously be somebody else's picture posted of me. Most of that is beside the point. I'll start over and apologize for rambling.

I'm a photographer. I take pictures of people, places, things and ideas. This is what all photographers do. This is what all people with a camera do. Before that we did the same thing with paint on canvas. Before that carved rocks. It is no secret that there is a universal push to preserve moments in time by artifical means. It is not news when somebody decides its a good idea to make something that will hopefully have the ability to carry a thought, idea, message beyond the reach of the creator. My question is why and how universal is it?

Different people have different reasons for getting into art and different reasons for concentrating on their focus. Different, BUT, do they all fall under similar categories and classifications? Obviously there is variance but is there a significant correlation that provides a viable type of reasoning standard deviation? Long story short, We have different specific reasons but is the overall reasoning similar for wanting to create visual art?

Example, I took this picture in a bar while listening to a band call The Balance. Good people. I like their music so I felt like taking pictures of them and just giving them some that they can put up on websites and such. This picture was to the side though. I felt like taking the picture because this girl just happens to be a really cool girl and very expressive. I wanted to catch her being her. To this day I've never seen her without that camera. She always seems to be concentrating on getting the shot that she wants. She is part of the crowd but not always in the middle of it. she has a lot of personality and I wanted to see how much of that I could catch in a random shot.

Why would I want to do that? I had an objective for the pictures I was taking, but I felt the need to take random pictures on the sides that have nothing to do with the event. Thats what I am wondering. Does everybody have different reasons for doing that? Are they very different or related? Just think, this is a VERY small insignificant example. There are people who take life changing pictures when they weren't really obligated to. They just felt the need to do it. They just felt the need to take out their camera and photograph the moment. They just felt there was a need to paint a picture of their vision of a night sky full of stars. They carve beautiful things out of stone for the sake of making it and not for the sake of commission.

For what?, recognition? memory preservation? stress relief? Possibly all of them. I just say that we are all very different but we all are very similar. So it could be something that goes through all of our minds on a lower level that says "this is what I want to be seen for some reason, and now I need to do it"

SAY IT LOUD!
Comment cuz I'M OUT

Please turn your attention to...

2009-08-26T11:45:00.002-04:00

the daily puppy that I just added to my page. they are so dang cute. now you are gonna have to stop by everybody to at least see what kind of cute doggie they have next!

This is not a blog entry... this is just a tribute.

I find it interesting...

2009-08-23T03:40:00.003-04:00

yes very discomforting that people can be so complex in details but so simple in the big picture. I could walk away from somebody and not see them for a couple of years and walk in randomly to see them again and instantly be impressed by the same things that I left thinking about.

Can we be so animalistic that over a couple of years we are still drawn to the same things and can almost be stupefied by the smallest traits?

Just to take the focus off of me, its like this. If a lady sees a guy and is like "oh my goodness his eyes are beautiful I am mesmerized by his very glance." she gets used to it after hanging out with that guy for a while. Suddenly he moves to... Bangladesh. Well obviously they aren't going to talk much. This is basically the idea of "Hey I'm back in the states, funny running into you here!" and then the girl falling into the guy's eyes again like he never left and things hadn't changed.

So simple. Guys, think... boobs. And think Booty. Think of your magic ratio that you prefer. That kind that just catches your eyes and makes you say "DANG". ok same thing. slightly more primal, but we are men (manly men) so thats how we roll. Similar Scenario.

What do you think? I could just be weak to the flesh. Lord knows I'm not perfect.

I'm Just Comfortable With You

2009-08-15T14:58:00.002-04:00

How do we choose the person we should be with? How do we choose if we should stay with them? hmm... Think about it. got your opinion on it? Ok, my turn.

I'm sure a lot of people have very different thoughts as to what keeps people together. I know there was probably someone to read this to say "true love". I'm sure there was one of you who said that it was "a good love life". Oh by that I mean sex. I bet there are even some who would think that the thing that keeps people together is moral obligation. I am of a bit different mindset. Not totally different idea, but more of a different angle.

You can love someone very much and things break up because they are just to hard hold on to. You can have amazing sex with somebody and really not care to ever be around them outside the bed (that was great babe... but why are you still here?). I believe people try to stay together because "this is how God would want it" but seriously God doesn't want a relationship to be bad for you. Its not a test. Its the wrong coupling.

I'm rambling. I still haven't gotten to my point and you already know what it is because of my title. I should probably get to that, eh?

I say that what really keeps people together is mainly being comfortable with that person. With comfort in the person you are with, you get an understanding. You get the ability to be with someone without having to prove why you are there. I feel it is important to be able to sit beside someone and be content with being around them. Think of the comparison of Desire and Comfort as fire and a heater. The fire can definitely heat things up. they can burn for a long time, but not in a practical sense. Seriously though, everybody love some fire when they can get it. Anyway, when you have a heater, you have something consistent, non stressful and...well... comfortable. What does a heater do anyway? It doesn't really just keep you comfortable, but it prevents uncomfortable situations. Never getting too hott, or too cold because it keeps you at a happy level.

Ok ladies, I have another anology for you. Desire is stilettos. Comfort is those your rainbows. See what i'm sayin? Geez, that one is a lot easier to explain.

I just know that when I look for a girl, I don't search for super fire and desire. I'm not looking for great sex. wait. i'm not JUST looking for fire and desire and great sex. I am looking for a girl who I can sit with and not have to work hard to impress. One i can watch TV with and not have to worry about anything extra.

I'M BUGGIN YO

2009-08-02T18:46:00.002-04:00

Yo, fo real, I'm sorry to all my peeps out there that has tried to keep up with my shizzle and I just went all Bermuda Triangle on yall and just up and disappeared. Thats just not real cool for a cat like me. A new update coming soon. and I mean SOON. I'm talkin like in the next day or so.

A Tribute To MIchael Jackson

2009-06-26T19:42:00.004-04:00

He was a Legend in his own right. He touched millions with his music. Though he may have touched a few with his hands when it wasn't really socially acceptable, we will not talk about that. All people make mistakes of all degrees of severity but there is a very small handful of people who have done what Michael Jackson has done. He has produced a book of albums, a lot of #1 Hits (and his songs actually had meaning to them), and the boy could put on a show.

I mean seriously. Ya boy has been doin da damn thang on stage for about 40 years straight (apology for profanity). People are still trying to catch up to the creativity of his music videos. Oh, and get this... not one booty shake. I am pretty sure at least. Feel free to correct me, but I am fairly sure that there was not one instance of dropping it like its hot in any of the music videos of the King of Pop. Take that Usher.

Now I'm not saying look over all of the things that he did wrong in his life. I am not saying everyone should ignore controversies and such. Though you have to admit, A person who is 50 and yet 25% of his body is still around 20 is going to have some controversy around him. With that said, we shouldn't forget the wrong but we should remember the greatness. I assure you that the Amazing things he has done in his life outweigh they crazy things he has done.

Seriously... he made thriller... THRILLER.

and now as a tribute, I'm going to put a bunch of MJ related youtube videos here. comment your thoughts or email me your thoughts at sayitloudbap@gmail.com.

Enjoy

Smooth Criminal- Yes the whole thing. You can't tell me you didn't bust yo butt atleast ones trying to do the lean.

Billie Jean- THAT BABY AIN'T MINE. but who can say it like MJ... nobody. If only the ground could really light up.

Black 0r White- turns out, in this video... he was white. But its about the message.

Beat It- Warning... its Fall Out Boys. Yeah I'm putting covers in here too.

Remember The Time- EDDY MURPHY SPOTTINGS! And Magic Johnson! Seriously, this is my JAM... speaking of Jam...

JAM- It ain't to hard for me to Jam... Thats right, MJ one on one against MJ. Heavy D? Kriss Kross?

Scream- ooooooooh, so aaangry... thank you for bustin out this video with your sis. I'll put it on the record that Janet Jackson could have my babies. THATS RIGHT I SAID IT.

Bad- The phrase in this song is "your butt is miiiiiiiiiiiine"... nuff said.

Dirty Diana- Give me a new artist that shows this kind of emotion and I'll show you one that was inspired by MJ.

Eddy Murphy's Words on MJ- You know its the truth :)

Billie Jean- David Cook covered it. This for Kaila. His version is from Chris Cornell

The Way You Make me Feel- YOU KNOCK ME OFF OF MY FEET NOW BABY! This dude follows this girl in the entire music video. Girl don't you know thats Michael Jackson?

Thriller-... kinda.

Thriller-... wait... thats not it either

THRILLER!!!- all 13 minutes of it. the laugh at the end used to freak me out. hell it still freaks me out. seriously i still cut the video off right before that laugh starts.

I'll add more when I see fit. feel free to request some.

Alone Together

2009-06-21T00:45:00.003-04:00

I have never, nor will I ever, say that I am an expert in relationships. Correction, its not an issue of me never saying that I am an expert, but more along the lines of me being IN NO WAY an expert on relationships. Multiple reasons. With that said, I will just state observations that I have noticed over the years. Let me know if you agree. If you disagree with me... I don't value you as a person. I'm just kidding of course.

What kind of relationships am I talking about. Alone together? Well I'm talking about many types of relationships. Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Husband/Wife, Fiance/Fiancee. Straight, Gay, Love triangle. The thing that makes it note worthy is not the format of the relationship but the dynamics of the relationship. The format of a relationship is just a container and has no baring on if the participants are happy within it. The dynamics of the relationship really govern the level of happiness involved. So, what do I mean by dynamics?

How do you feel in the relationship? Not just the good times or just the bad times. What is the overall "average" in your marriage? What is the overall theme of your engagement? I have noticed that people are not honest with themselves in these questions. This is a problem. I believe this is a problem because people may say that, on average, things are going very well for the relationship but in actuality it is very different. They end up holding on with all of their might to a relationship that in truth, is not the relationship they think they are in. Constant argument, consistently keeping secrets, and not seeing eye to eye with one another is a staple in the relationship that is overlooked for the sake of having a solid relationship. This also causes people to be alone in their relationships.

Its a strange idea. To be alone while being with someone in a committed relationship. Think of it this way. You are at a party. You don't know anybody at the party. You are into World of WarCraft and LARP. Everybody else is into NFL and classic hot rods. You are at the party and you may even talk to people, but overall you still may feel alone because you don't have the proper connection with anybody there. You don't have that relation with someone that you can see eye to eye with. Example 2- You have been going out with somebody for 2 years and things keep getting more and more serious. You find yourself getting a bit restless but you carry on thinking things are normal. The fights will pass. You can't really tell the significant other everything that goes on maybe because of fear of jealousy or just to avoid a fight. No cheating. No lack of love really. So you keep taking the next step. 3 years later in a marriage and you don't really talk like you would like. You don't see each other as much because you hang out with others to get out of the house.

Really, this is more common than some would like to think. I personally think that everybody should re-evaluate their current relationship. These relationships should be fixed. I think they can be fixed. I don't think they would be anybody's fault in the relationship. So its for the best that it be fixed of taken apart in a way that is for the best in both parties. I'm sure there is a way. It just needs to have as much honesty out front and in the open. Both parties deserve at least that I believe.

I dunno where this came from.

You Have To Dig To Find Your Talent

2009-06-15T16:02:00.005-04:00

Holy Crap! It took a lot of digging but I found that I'm into photography. Go figure. Ok seriously, I took this with my friend's camera a couple years ago. yes this is my camera. Yes I have a bit of dirt on my sensor. I was wondering why my pictures didn't come out well. Moving on though...

This is basically what I think when I see this picture (after I finished crying from the loss of a Nikon loved one). I run across people everyday who see themselves as talentless. They see themselves as not really being particularly good at anything special. I ask them what they have tried and their answer is mostly "I haven't really done much, I'm not good at that creative stuff". I ask this to those who are reading. How exactly are you supposed to find out anything important about yourself if you don't look for it. We are all like a beach. Millions of minutes of experience in life are like the sand that we walk on. They are the sand we build with. But, within that sand are things that are special to each of us. Hidden treasures that were kind of thrown into the mix. We won't get into religion but I will say that those things are kind of stuck in there by the will of God. If you say it is done by Allah, or Zeus, or pure chance derived from randomized encounters that collide into specific and unique experiences. Regardless, You have random goodies in your sand.

The problem comes when people do not take the time to explore anything lower than the surface of their life. They walk along the sands of experience and look into the ocean of future life. They build sand castle careers and pick up material shells laying on the sand. All of this is well and good, but when one gets caught up in this type of routine they neglect to every so often dig in the dirty and see if they can find something truly special. I think there are people who can go their entire life without seeing any of the gifts or treasures that lay below the sand. Then again, I am also sure that nobody really can realize all of their true potential. There is definitely a sliding scale on the matter.

So you may ask, "Mr. BAP, how does one find out what their talents are and realize the treasure that are hidden in their life?". Well my child, I will give you all of the information I know right here in this list of "how to realize your talents"

1. Try things out.
2. (period of time passes)
3. Profit

Congratulations you have sorted through all of your options and have figured out things that you are good at. You have also probably realized a LOT of things you suck at. That's no biggie though. You'll be a better person for it in the end. I just know that I don't want to be standing in front of my Maker and him inform me of some talent that I had that I would have really enjoyed that I didn't realize.

SayItLoud-Wow, Its really bright here? My head is killing me and all I can remember is an out of control grizzly bear

God-Welcome my son

SayItLoud-OOOOOOH SNAP, Its the King of Kings! What is UP!? This place is nice!

God-Thanks, I have more angels than I can shake a stick at so you gotta keep things tidy. Nah just kidding, I'm God, I could shake a stick at them if I really wanted to.

SayItLoud- I KNEW IT! I knew my Lord had a sense of humor. And apparently a corny one like me.

God- Yep, I know your humor. I made it. By the way, I was really hoping you'd get into that whole "learning how to build a space ship out of recycled soda cans fused with nitrogen"

SayItLoud- Haha, yea you right, you did make my hu....wait...

God- Yeah, I gave you the skillz yo.

SayItLoud- Um, can I go back and try now?

God-Um, I have the ability to raise you from the dead yes... but after the whole grizzly bear and cremation situation... I think its for the best you stay here son.

SayItLoud- :( well, ok this place is pretty baller anyway. Is that a heavenly Pool Table complete with Golden pool Sticks?

God- Yep, you would have invented that for earth too but you decided to go camping instead. Thank the Me, that I already had one up here. They work really well.

(Nobody wants this on their first day in heaven.)

Well Its Been A While.

2009-06-14T09:56:00.003-04:00

I would like to apologize to my faithful followers. all 2 of you. As of late I have been quite busy and therefore have not been able to fully apply myself to this. I will do better. I'm thinking of things right now that I hope are interesting. If you have any suggestions then, by all means, tell them to me. My email address is sayitloudbap@gmail.com. All are welcome to send me anything from artists, movies or music for reviewing, to subjects that need to be spoken about. I am very open and If it is a good idea I will use it. Not only that I will give you credit for the subject.

You know what? as a matter of fact. If you ever have something on your heart that you feel like expressing but you don't want to and entire blogsite for it, then by all means send me your words other things you would like included. I will post it here and it will be YOUR post. I will give you credit. send you a direct link to it so you can send it to your friends. Why? Because though I am writing this for myself, it is meant for you.

Album Review: Drake (So Far Gone MixTape)

2009-05-11T14:01:00.000-04:00

Welcome again and thank you for checking out the blog. If you are reading then I am VERY grateful that you are. If you are here but not reading my blog then I hope the colors are to your liking.

Preface-
I had a friend over at WhatJR.com inform me of an up and coming heavy hitter in the music industry recently. I have said before how I love to appreciate music and I am a very big fan of music that shows true emotions that tend to transcend just words on paper and rump shakers. My friend has pretty good taste when it comes to this sort of things so I decided to give him the respect and dive head first into this album.(sidenote that I'd urge you to check out his site. He has a lot to say and a good way of saying it.)

I hope that by now you are listening to the song "Brand New" that I posted because It should give you a small Idea of the type of music I will be talking about when I speak of this somewhat new artist, Drake. I don't think it is the most popular song on the album but I think that it is a good representation of his style.

Well, Lets start by saying that overall this album exceeded my expectations tremendously. I am pretty open minded about music but its little things that tend to annoy me. Some of these things being over exaggeration and the glorification of negative stereotypes in a community, over the top cursing, and lack of focus within the song. Drake managed to avoid all of these very well. He wouldn't fall under the category of those like Rapper Common as being a "Positive Rapper" who tend to focus on social issues. He also would not fall under the blanket of a "Gangster Rapper". Honestly he doesn't even fall directly into the RnB or Rap Category. He seems to spread his wings and float on top of a lot of different styles, feels, and genres. With that said, he still sounds like Drake. Not many artist can do this. Its very respectable to say the least.

Another point I'd like to make about this guy is that of this solid weekend of listening to solely this album, I never felt at one time that he is speaking outside of his own personal feelings. I see it this way. Everybody isn't living the great life. Everybody isn't living in the ghetto. That means that when a person decided to express themselves in something like music, of film or writing, they should speak to their personal situation, because you are being truthful to yourself and it will be obvious when you are. Also if your life isn't all that great, then it is lying to yourself and your listeners if you try to portray it in a way it is not. Drake obviously sings songs that are related to his personal thoughts. When he says "I want the money and the cars, and the clothes and the hoes...I suppose. I just want to be successful", he isn't talking money, cars, clothes, and women are the things that makes him successful. He is saying that he wants to be progress and reach his goal but those material things aren't the focus. He has personal goals and that is something we can relate to.

Just to bring things down to earth a bit, I am not saying this Mixtape is flawless. when listening to the album for the first time I could definitely hear the talent but there is so much variety in his style throughout that there were times where I felt a bit lost from time to time. This faded as I listened to it more. Also his mixture of rap and singing sometimes met in the middle which sounds a bit like Kanye West's new Love Lockdown album (granted Drake does much better in that aspect). So, well done, but not perfect. But, really who has a perfect album?

Ok, so the guy is lyrical in rap and singing. His words are clever but not hard to follow, like some rappers who drown you in highly specialized metaphors. His singing is decent but very fitting. He isn't an american Idol but he isn't single Luther Vandross. He has his hands in many different musical feels and most of them are pretty good so if you are specific in your musical taste you may still have something on his album you will like. But my last point is a part that really impressed me really.

THIS IS A FRIGGIN MIXTAPE!!!!

Do you know what a mixtape is? its not like Aerosmith album coming out. Its not like 50cent's new album dropping in a month or something. This is a album that this guy put together basically on his own volition. Really, have you ever seen a guy on the street saying "yo yo man, this is my CD, just listen to it and hit up my myspace" as he hands you a burned CD with sharpie on it with his name and his website. Those are mixtapes. This is on a whole new level. You have to give props to somebody who pulls out a mixtape with this kind of quality and skill on it. You could download this entire album for free legally because it isn't in Best Buy. Hell, he has Lil Wayne on his album. Seriously? yeah.

So as an overview and in conclusion, This album is something I think you should definitely listen to. I didn't go into specific songs because you really need to just give it a chance and listen to it. What do you have to lose? Download it. He has 2 mixtapes before this particular one. I'm downloading them the second I close this blog.

Grab it. Drake's Mixtapes. I just cut the searching out for you. Comment about what you like or dislike about it. If you disagree with me on anything feel free to post it here or email me at sayitloudbap@gmail.com

And now for a Game Review-MyBrute

2009-05-08T13:19:00.004-04:00

Ok so its also a bit of a shameless plug to gather pupils but either way people should fight this guy. I'm pretty proud of him. http://leveled-up.mybrute.com/ is the link to go to in order to fight him and get smashed. but at that point you would have your own brute that you can level up and take revenge with.

Now for a overview and review of the game.

MyBrute is a small non-interactive fighting simulation game that has seem to have taken the net by storm. The total basis behind such a game is that you create a somewhat personalized Brute. He will then be randomly equipped with low level abilities and gear. He can even be given a animal companion(which could be a dog, a wolf or bear). There is a plethora of different skills and weapons that a Brute can acquire and each brute has a combination of attributes that deal with strength, speed, agility and health. He gets his own cell where you can keep up with his stats, watch some recently fought fights again, and enter tournaments where you will surely get your butt kicked. You start off level 1. your guy will kinda suck unless you are very lucky. The beauty is that as you fight you get to higher levels and you get more weapons or attributes or skills. You will see your brute get stronger right before your eyes. Soon he will be a Brute brutalizer.

You may ask, "Well the game is non interactive, and isn't exactly visually stunning, so why would anybody think twice about this fighting simulation?". That is a good question my friend. Let us go through some of the reasons why this french based game has spread like wild fire.

1.) This game is the tomagotchi of the internet. You know what I mean. Remember in middle school (or elementary, or high school, or maybe you had a child who had one) when people went crazy over those things? They were little keychains that had virtual pets. Kids would neglect their own dog in the backyard before forgetting to give attention to their little digital alien thing. This is along the same premise as those "digi pets". What makes it new and a wider spread trend is the internet. this is an online multiplayer game that lets you challenge others. Its not girly but its not overly brutal so not to alienate the more compassionate. My brute is better than your brute.

2.) This game spread quickly because they implimented the option of gaining pupils. What is a pupil? ok yes it is a part of an eye, but in this instance it is a person who built a brute to fight your brute. After the fight they are now basically "being trained" by your brute. This means that when that new brute levels up, you get experience points for it. You don't have a limit on the amount of pupils you can get and the more you can acquire the quicker you can level up and the faster you can make your brute hardcore. What does this do? this makes people recruite hard. They want their brute to be badass and the best way to do it is to have other people sign up under them. The internet at its best my friends. If this were a virus we'd all be dead.

3.) Cartoon Violence is always popular on the internet. Its like porn but not as indecent. Its like dog fighting but more humane and from the privacy of your own home computer. Ok honestly I shouldn't have to explain this one. If people didn't like seeing little cartoon characters fight to the death then videogames and anime would not survive.

4.) Finally, it is because it gives someone a chance to build a character and see them get stronger as time goes along. You can only fight 3 times a day so it doesn't take up all of your time but you get the satisfaction of making something go from about the strength of a badger that has been hit by a car, to Wolverine (comic style, not this punk Xmen Movie wolverine). You can build them without the use of too much strategy. You can build them to beat your friends without too much work. You can hit people with a leek. Seriously this is a weapon in the game. You haven't been beat down until you come across a level 5 character that proceeds to wail on your level 8 brute with trombone.

Well that is the grand scheme of things in this game. You will definitely have to try it. No limit on how many people you can make. If you don't like your brute... just don't use them anymore If anything You will kill time, but not too much time.

I'll go ahead and list some sites that I found informative about the game. If you ever feel lost or what to get a heads up on the game then check some of these out. If i see more I will update.

http://www.mybrutecheats.com/
http://www.colonyofgamers.com/

if you have another game, or musical artist or movie, that you would like me to write on then feel free to email me at sayitloudbap@gmail.com and I will do my best to check it out and crank in as much knowledge as possible.

Till next time.

Sit with me, have a drink.

2009-04-28T23:21:00.006-04:00

Relax your heart and your mind, because when you think of all of the stress you can experience in this short life, you realize this short life would be better without much of it. Its not about whats in the drink. It could be coke. It could be Sweet Tea, hold the lemon. In this case it is a Royal Flush. That is beside the point. The point is, that if you come and sit with me, and you grab a drink to sit in front of you as the time passes, think positive things that will make that drink enjoyable. Because, a social drink is both the smallest and most important celebration a person can have at the end of a day.

Hostile Takeover of Innovation

2009-04-19T22:07:00.005-04:00

When we get a new idea, we get a glimpse of the feeling that God must have had when he created the first atom of the universe. In my mind, even in the perfection of the process, when there comes the next step in the process of innovation, it hurts or even destroys part of the previous steps. I'd imagine this is the how God must feel when he saw the first war.

My point is that basically Innovation is a wonderful thing. Without Advancement, there is no reason to think. Without reason to think, there is no reason to live. I don't mean live as in breath and walk. I mean live. I mean leaving your house with the intent to achieve an objective. That objective can be for the greater happiness of one's self. That objective can be for the genocide of a people. Whatever, the point is that there is an objective and a direction.

There is a second part to the equation though. Though Innovation is a wonderful thing, it is by far its worst enemy. Each idea is a type of branch from an idea beforehand. but more so, it stands on the head of the idea before it and branches from there until it has a new innovation to stand on top of it and branch. That is basically what I was thinking about at work when I took this picture. Yes, at IBM. which meant for my job "India By March11th" but that's beside the point. But anyway, You got the paperclip to keep paper together. It is just bent metal. This was actually a really good idea. Who thought about this before? That's an friggin idea for you. Then somebody said, I want an automatic way of doing this that will let me make it look more professional and is more permanent. BOOM. You got a new idea. Well I guess its a newish idea. Innovative idea though. Now we have a basically permanent and smaller option, and we have a paperclip that is for temporary situations. Then you have the staple remover. This basically takes the paperclip function out of the game. People still use them but its basically been replaced. The paperclip is DOS. the idea that the stuff was run on but basically out of the picture now. Get the picture? hehe, pun intended.

Companies thrive on this premise by the way. Anybody a camera buff? Nikon just unveiled their new NIKON D5000. What does this mean for your camera? It means your camera is basically falling to the side. The advancement of the technology has gotten so quick that they just number things now. Each number represents at least one instance of "innovative technology" that sets it above the rest like it. One idea that is meant to crush the ideas below it. That's just cameras. Think about computers. Think about cellphones. in high school my phone had a replaceable faceplate and (the extremely awesome game) snake. Now my Blackberry Storm (RIM if you see this pay me) has Google Maps integrated with GPS, Multi Media Messaging, a half a dozen social network programs, an etch-a-sketch, a full media player that is equipped to watch high resolution videos, listen to quality music, and view full screen color pictures with a very decent amount of sharpness. Oh, and it is a a friggin TOUCH SCREEN that clicks like a button. Seriously if someone handed me my old phone from high school I think I may cry.

This makes me wonder about the future very often. I wonder how this will progress. The addition of technology and ideas that will shatter all that we know today. Not just computers and cameras. not just biology and chemistry. That would not be what makes me wonder. It is the next step. It is the idea of stepping on the heads of technology, biology, chemistry, that will cripple them and become the standard. What will become of us.

As long as I can keep my BlackBerry and Nikon I suppose.

Thoughts anybody?

2 Steps Forward... 2 Steps Back... Attraction pt2

2009-03-31T21:05:00.003-04:00

Not one of my best pictures but whatever. Two friends(possibly more) playin in the water. Ok, you know what it fits in with the attraction theme enough for me to post it. Anyway...

WELCOME! this is the second installment of the intense issue of Attraction. Even though I sent out a decent amount of surveys, the responses back were weak in numbers. Fortunately this isn't an issue of numbers. Increasing numbers just adds validity and reliability. Two things I am quite content with neglecting at this point. So, I drafted a survey. I shall now give you the questions. I will run through the general consensus of the answers I got from my random friends of many different classifications. all varying in ethnicity, backgrounds, age, marital status, etc. So without further hesitation, I present to you, the survey.
________________________________
attraction survey

Demographic Information
Age-
sex-
race/ethnicity-
last level of education completed-

Open ended questions

1.) What is attraction, in your opinion?

2.) At what age do you think one could experience any sort of attraction?

3.) Do you think attraction is controllable? Do you believe you can govern how much you are attracted to someone?

4.) If yes, how much?

5.) Do you believe that, in general, attraction is something that everybody has to experience at some point?

6.) Do you think that, in general, most people are attracted to the same types of things?

personal preference questions

1.) In certain attributes, what normally attracts you physically to a person relatively more so than others?
examples, long hair, piercings, types of clothing, complexion

This is not an absolute question. There tends to be a range, so its fine to list just a few things that top your list.

2.) Other than physical attributes, are there any other things that you think would increase the attraction to somebody?
examples, talents, personality qualities, skills, interest

This is also not an absolute question. There can be many things and some can be a bit stronger than others, so just list a few of your big ones.

3.) name 3 actors or actresses that you find physically attractive.

4.) Can you think of one thing that you may find attractive in an individual that not many of your peers would possibly find as a strong attraction point?

___________________________________

As for the Demographic information
The participants ranged from 23-50 yr old. Resulted weighted toward the 23 end.
about 50/50 in gender
There were a variety of races accounted for.
all participants were either attending or had completed college.

With the questions being open ended, you will need to rely on my judgment to put the information together. Hope you trust me.

~~What is attraction, in your opinion?~~
The general thought pattern of this question was fairly simple. only differing in degree of attraction. some only mention attraction between people while others described it as a general thing (like being attracted to certain types of cars). Some of these answers include "Whatever draws one person to another to incorporate their habits and presence into everyday life." or "a force acting mutually between people that draws them together by desires and tastes" and even "attraction occurs when an object or person is drawn toward another object or person, typically the result of some sort of stimulus.". Overall the general Idea of everybody was that attraction was when one person is drawn to someone/something else for various reasons.

~~At what age do you think someone can experience any sort of attraction?~~
There was a bit of a split in this set of answers. The majority of the answers say that attraction can be experienced as early as birth. Some say that a person can experience it when they can start to think for themselves. others say that it happens during emotion and hormonal maturity. like 11-16 years of age. The Majority was not a huge majority. I also take into account that some people think attraction in the person to person respect which may have pushed their numbers back a bit.

~~Do you think attraction is controllable? Do you believe you can govern how much you are attracted to someone?~~
The overall consensus was NO. generally people thought that you may be able to control your reaction to attraction, but you cannot control attraction itself. Short and sweet.

~~If yes, How much?~~
nothing really was here except for explaining that you can control reactions but not attractions.

~~Do you believe that, in general, attraction is something that everybody has to experience at some point?~~
Simple Yes. Everybody says that everybody experiences it. human nature.

~~Do you think that, in general, most people are attracted to the same types of things?~
I got some yes's, and I got some No's. Overall I think that I worded this question a bit badly. But, from what I gathered from the answers, people feel that people have their own personal tastes in attraction that are unique, but there are a few things that everybody tends to gravitate toward. Examples being the physical aspect of the bodies that could give the look of "healthy" and "ability to procreate".

PERSONAL PREFERENCES!!!

Ok, this is a fun part. I'll just kinda put some of the answers out there for ya. Identities are safe.

~~In certain attributes, what normally attracts you physically to a person relatively more so than others?~~

from the fellas- slim, athletic build, successful, dark features, curvy, "hips don't lie", good complexion, eyes, smile

from the ladies-Deep voices, big hands, well groomed, clean, short hair, tall, scruffy beard, clean cut, eyes, smile

lot of variation goin on there.

~~Other than physical attributes, are there any other things that you think would increase the attraction to somebody?
examples, talents, personality qualities, skills, interest~~
all together now!
humor, commitment, faith, Success, intelligence, athletic, gets along well with others, easy going, "photographer" (woot!)

~~name 3 actors or actresses that you find physically attractive.~~
a select bunch for each
fellas-Jessica Alba, Megan Fox, Scarlett Johanss0n, Eva Mendez, Giada De Laurentis
ladies-Ralph Feinnes, Mario Lopez, Barack Obama, Brad Pitt, Nick Lachey, Tom Hanks, Johnny Depp (who's name showed up enough to be slightly annoying to me)

~~the final question is a throw away. everything had basically been said already so i will skip it~~

WELL, there you have it people. The answers to the questions that were asked. You may not be any more informed than you were before I wrote this. but now at least you kind of know where your peers may stand on some of the issues. I was told to put my answers up so I will do so in a comment on this blog. feel free to comment on my list.

Until next time. This is Randy signing off. If you read this far. I urge you to get a hobby :)

A Few Words Regarding Music...

2009-03-25T22:14:00.003-04:00

I'm still waiting for a few more stragglers to finish the surveys on attraction but I decided to do another update. an update about what? Well, we talked about love. We talked about attraction (kinda), but this is a bit different. Still, it is kinda along the same lines. I'll explain....

So, how does music relate to the other topics that surround it in this blog? I figured it would be a good idea to stick something in between the series that is closely related but very different in general. Here is my explanation. Music has the tendency to be intertwined in the fabric of love. It has a way of showing up in most aspects of love. I'd say there is more songs written on the inspiration of love, lust, adoration, attraction and like ideas, than any other subject. Point Blank. Why though? Why is music so closely held by love? are they cousins? I don't think so. Emotions don't really deal in relatives. I think it is because love is such a strong emotion. Like I said before, it is an emotion that is universal in nature. What is music? That is where the connection is.

Well, music is basically a method of using sound and rhythm in a systematic way. lets see what webster says.

"1 a: the science or art of ordering tones or sounds in succession, in combination, and in temporal relationships to produce a composition having unity and continuity b: vocal, instrumental, or mechanical sounds having rhythm, melody, or harmony"

Good job Merrian-Webster. You guys should write a book.

But here is the deal. This is my opinion of course. This is up to debate. By all means. comment. Here is my take on the matter. In the grand scheme of things, Music is a method of expression emotions using sound and rhythm. That is the connection. We have an expression of emotion. Now, we have an emotion that is VERY strong and in need of being expressed. I think that is a good reason they hold a strong connection.

Think of the love struck teenager who has his eye on the girl of his dreams. Behind her pink and green braces, is the girl of his dreams. He decides he should woo her with a mix tape that he made with his little sister's "my little pony music set" and very heart-felt lyrics written with only her in mind. Maybe it will be about how when he looks into her eyes, he feels like he just obtained a level 57 nightelf with a tiger companion. How when she speaks to him, he feels entranced like Captain Kirk felt in Episode 23 when he encountered the seductive sirens of sector 12 in the Mongola Quadrant. Yes, I know it is nerdy. I'm trying to say that music can come up in the weirdest situations and say the strangest things, but overall it is used to express things that people can't always just say. PLEASE NOTE: I have no experience in Mass Multiplayer RPG's and I have no idea about the episode details of any of the Star Trek series (except Next Generation... Don't judge me). It was all made up for the greater good.

I think there also the issue that music is not only a way to express your own emotions, but also relate to others. Example? Have you ever cried because a song hit you at just the right time, and said just the right thing? It wasn't exactly anything inspirational but at that moment the song vibrated at the exact frequency of how you felt at that moment and you had a bit of an outcry of emotion? I have shed a tear (no homo) from music before. Its fairly natural to have a strong reaction to someone else's emotional expression. That is the set up, not the example. hang in there with me. I am going to a concert tomorrow to see David Cook. Do I know this dude's music? Naw, but I know somebody who is practically in love with The Cook and honestly I think it would be cool to she the reaction to his music. You should see her when she hears one of his songs. Her eyes light up and she smiles like he is speaking directly to her. Don't you think that a person that can write a song that can cause such a connection with someone they've never met is worth it? Its about the connection. The love of the music. The music is kinda love.

So in conclusion. Talking in circles and making pointless connections can be fun for random updates to blogs. but I "remember the time" when I was "down on bended knee" and "my endless love" said "love don't live here anymore". So although we've come to the "end of the road", "my heart will go on", but "my guitar gently weeps" "cause I love you".

oh, and by the way. Want to hear a song that is basically putting your emotions on a track? "Cause I Love You" by Lenny Williams. Back when People made love songs and love lost songs because they were in love, and lost it.

2 Objects Plus A Force Drawing Them Together

2009-03-15T17:21:00.005-04:00

“The secret of attraction is to love yourself. Attractive people judge neither themselves nor others. They are open to gestures of love. They think about love, and express their love in every action. They know that love is not a mere sentiment, but the ultimate truth at the heart of the universe.”
-Deepak Chopra

This could have been a good bit longer but in my efforts to find a good "lead in" quote for the topic of attraction, I find one that hits a bit stronger than expected. I like this Deepak fellow. If I see him I will be sure to buy him a cup of coffee.

I think there comes a time in everyone's life where they sit back and reflect on what really and truly attracts them to another person. Some see attraction in purely physical attributes. I personally am a sucker for a pretty smile and expressive eyes. Ladies out there... please do not use this information to exploit me, for I am weak and may not be able to resist your manipulations. Some are very attracted to people who have certain talents. I'm sure you believe me on that one. But if you don't, then go to a party where a guy "just happens" to have his guitar handy as he sings an ill written song and strums the repetition of 3 chords. Overall, though it may change from moment to moment, we all have times in our lives where we have felt an attraction to someone outside of the love realm. The very thoughts toward a person that leans closer to "I want" and farther from "I need", if you will.

I know what you are thinking. "How is this even remotely post worthy?". You may also be thinking something along the lines of "ugh, its raining outside and I need to leave to get dinner". Well, I'll have you know that I have no concept on what makes something important enough to blog about it. So you may be correct in saying that this isn't worth the time reading, but hopefully you at least read this far so you would know that I could very well agree with you in that sentiment. Moving on...

So where did this attraction idea come from? How universal is it? Is it a social construct, a physiological reaction, or a mixture of the two? Lastly, how does it vary from person to person? I will try to cover all of these. I will also make this a multi part series. This will give me a time to sample some of those around me who I feel are adequate examples of the general population. These examples would be my friends. So this "general" population would be considered by some as "generally crazy" population. just like me :). But, I am deeply fortunate to have a very diverse index of beautiful human beings that I am sure would be more than glad to help me in my study. As you may have gathered from the questions i've posed, a wide range of diversity could be beneficial in getting a good idea of the concept. If you disagree, then blogs are free and I will be honored to read your version :).

Where did the idea of attraction come from? Since I am no longer a student I also do not have access to JSTOR so finding actual articles to back up anything I say from this point on would be a bit difficult. So on that note, don't take my word for it and search yourself. Also if you know of any reputable sites that would give trust worthy information then please let me know. Well It is not a new idea. Most people have experience in the idea before they ever hear any sort of peer reviewed information about it. Heck, my little brother already has a girlfriend. He is 4. Very bitter sweet since I am currently single, but this is beside the point. The point is that he at the very young age of 4 has already experienced a very mild form of attraction. This is despite the fact that nobody has sat down and told him "Ok gizmo, this is what makes this person pretty and this is why"(yes i call him gizmo, i mean it in a cute way). Here is the bit of grey area. Obviously he isn't in love with this girl. his attraction isn't a heavy sexual attraction. It is something in his brain that goes off saying there is something about this girl that I like enough to single her out. That is what makes attraction different from love or even lust. This could more confusing. I'll come back to this later.

I think it is safe to assume that attraction is universal. I don't know of a society devoid of attraction. It is fairly obvious that there is something internal in each of us and all of us that produces something that could be considered a capacity for attraction. Its such a strong idea that many animals will actually develop elaborate talents and processes to appear more attractive to those they wish to attract. Like a peacock and their many colors they use to attract their ladies. I feel this is much more practical than the "buy expensive car, nice cellphone and fancy clothes" method that I've also observed. That is the thing though. There is the idea of attraction and it crosses geographical borders and is not even confined to the human race, but that is the only thing that really makes it universal. That it exists to everybody. Every one and every species experiences it differently. I'm attracted to women. She's attracted to men. He is attracted to men. It even gets more complicated. I am attracted to thick rimmed glasses, and ponytails... sometimes. She is attracted to slim guys who play basketball... normally. He is attracted to girls who are very shapely and trendy... for the most part. And yes, it gets even deeper. I could go into more equations just to explain my personal heirachy of attraction but the highest level of math I've taken is Calculus II so I'd have to dumb it down a bit so I could grasp my own concepts. :P. More into this later. people will definitely have to give input on this section.

I am gonna continue this after gathering more information. I'm going to make a general survey. It will be fairly open ended. I am going to take all of the information and categorize it. I will diagram it. I promise I will try to make it as scientific as possible but please note that it will not be at optimal validity and reliablity due to many factors that would make a difference to me but not to most. Basically It won't be article information. It will be a fairly educated approach.

P.S.- Disgregard my first paragraph. I didn't think I would get this far into it. It was not intention and I obviously have a tendency to go overboard.

P.P.S- The picture is an ex-coworker of mine. I think its probably obvious of one of the things I found attractive about her, eh?

She Said She Loved Me But...

2009-03-06T20:19:00.002-05:00

She comes and goes when she pleases. When the door shuts, its like another paper cut.
-Gym Class Heroes

Welcome to the second install me of the "Love, you be so crazy" saga. Now welcome your host for the evening! MR. CUPID! (applause... applause... the crowd goes wild)

Yes folks, we have a great show for you today. We have some interesting situations and some crazy outcomes and these outtakes will make an outcry of outrageous laughing...out loud. Tonight we have a special guest with us. That's right ladies and gentlemen we have the inspiration himself. ITS LOVE. everybody give him a round of applause as he takes the stage.

anyway...

Would it not be to have the chance to sit down and talk to "Love" and ask him/her/it what they are all about? How can one word be shrouded in so much mystery and yet be so well know. There is not one language that does not have a word for love. but not only that. multiple word stemming from it. This word is meant to describe an emotion that is so widely known but so few can truly understand or grasp in its fullness. Love is a many splendored thing, but love ain't all sugar plums and fairy dust.

So maybe we should break things down a little bit. pardon the format. next time I will provide you with and excel sheet or something.

Love=Love
Love-mind+body=Lust
but
Love-body+mind=True Love

for a bit higher math

iLove+uLove= I Love You 2

iLove=Fantasy

(Love+Technology)xdistance=Computer Love

Love+british accent= Love...Actually

God+Love+salvation=+/- 1 son

Love+direction=affection

Love+repetition-reason=obsession

and for some random ones to end things up...

Love+Love=relationship
Love+Lust=hurt feelings
Lust+Lust=short relationship
(attraction+no attraction)x alcohol=good night, bad morning.
Love+Love+Lust=sticky situation

What I'm trying to say with that mindlessness up there is that love can be confusing and mistaken easily. Love hurts sometimes. Love is great sometimes. Sometimes you think its love but its not really love at all. I say the hardest part is telling what the difference is between love and impostors.

If you think you found love, good job. If you are right, even better. If you are wrong and it isn't love afterall, better luck next time. Either way, I don't think one should seek love strongly because love is not to be found through searching. Love is to be discovered through living. Looking for it causes love look-a-likes. Those will have you doing things you don't want to do for the misguided sake of love. That is never a good thing.

sidenote2- Another wedding. also fun. A friend of mine got married at sunset beach. They got married at sunset on the beach. I love beach weddings.

QUEST CREW!!!

All You Need Is Love

2009-03-02T15:29:00.004-05:00

...Whats love anyway? When one hears the magical words spoken, they are instantly whisked off into a world where 2 people who just knew that they were made for each other can frolic while gazing into each other's eyes. Thoughts of "the one" who will make every day of the rest of your life a dream. Not to be totally unrealistic, he will be the type to fall asleep after dinner. Oh but isn't he so cute when he sleeps on the couch? Oh and to keep things down to earth, she is the type to spend an entire day in the mall from time to time to find the perfect pair of shoes. Oh but doesn't she look just lovely in them? You will have a white picket fence with 1.5 children (because the average amount of children has dropped a bit since 2.5 was thought of) and a cat named Pepper. For my own mental picture, lets give this cat a Ph.D in Kitty Litter Management.

Anyway, Thats beside the point. The point is that this has been an idea of love that everyone tends to hold no matter how much they try to dodge the woes of conformity. By all means, keep these thoughts. Hold tight to these dreams. I am not the type to crush dreams, nor do I have the ability to provide ample evidence that would prove such images as unreasonable. I thought to write this because of one thing.

Where does this love come from and is it really what it seems? What causes Carl Thomas to sing "Baby would... you be my... summer rain" and (on the same CD mind you) sing," and I wish I never met her... at all". What can make two people so in love yet also fall out of love? What can makes people in love who are actually bad for each other? Why would one have to make changes in order to continue love? Can one truly say that they are "in love" with someone while in a temporary relationship when this relationship ends and they can continue onto another?

Mindless babble! the whole lot of it! I am making no sense. but why am I making no sense? I do not take full blame. One reason would be my horrid lack of ability to coherently think more than two thoughts ahead of the current thought. Another reason would be that I have thirty minutes left of an 8 hour day at which I did nothing more than walk in circles. But, what I feel is a strong contributer to the nonsensical nature of my ideas would be that I am speaking of an emotion. Not even an easy emotion. Everybody knows what anger is. Dude just threw his cellphone at his boss yelling "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ISH NO MORE!!!". That dude is angry. see. Easy. However, when you see a couple saying "aw you are so cute when you smile like that", then you know its not always love. Even if they add "snuggy wunkums" its not always love.

This should set you up for the next installment. 2 parts baby! yeah! I wish this was a bit more popular. I'd like to get a commentary on the first part so I can include it into the second part.

Sidenote. The picture in this post is of a couple. They are in love. Atleast as far as I could tell. But, I'd imagine that some thought they were in love during each of their first marriages. Either way I loved loved loved the couple and their wedding was one of the most fun I've shot.

Slight Rant... it shall be short

2009-02-20T00:00:00.003-05:00

no picture folks. I just wanted to say this one thing...(disclaimer- don't think I don't get my double cheese burger every so often. I'm poor. Its a dollar. Leave a comment. I'll give you a paypal account where you can help me afford better if you find me hypocritical :P)

McDonalds! Stop with the strong focused marketing to the African American community. We get it. You like to use ebonics in your commercials. Seriously though, if I hear that girl say "oh no you di-n't!" one more time I will personally smack the red nose off of Ronald. You got me with McNugget's Lovin. Ok. That was funny(why don't yoooou shaaare your looove with meeee). But, can I be real for a moment? We as a people do not need another mega unhealthy fast food change to "identify" with us. We already got Churches Chicken, I am sure that if you eat that more than 3 days in a row your heart will stop and you will pass out with extremely oily skin. We have KFC. and quite frankly I don't even like KFC. Not many people in my family like KFC. Last time I went into KFC the only black people there were working. We just get labeled with KFC because its a chicken based fast food restaurant. News flash. Everybody likes chicken Its not a black people thing. its a meat eating people thing! Quite frankly... how much can you truly trust somebody who wont' eat chicken (besides vegitarians... you get a pass).

Let me hear an ebonics Subway commercial dang it...

"dis turkey ranch sub is bangin yo! italian herb and cheese bread be tasty like a mug, son"
or
"Tyrone is on dat subway diet... now he's wit all the honeys... "

maybe get Lil Wayne in the commercial like "i saved a milli a milli a milli a million dollars with that 5 dolla foot long... YUNG WEEEZY BAAABY"

on second thought. maybe we should forget that too. lets just get back to creative commercials that appeal to the masses and annoy everybody equally.

am I a hater? on the contrary...

ba da ba ba baaaaaa... i'm lovin it

Our Department Is Going Into a Great New Direction....

2009-02-02T21:22:00.004-05:00

I'm not really mad. Well I am not happy with the turn that my most recent career move decided to take. This is understandable of course, right? The "transformation" that will make the department leaner, meaner and cleaner just so happens to be taking place in a different country. I'm sure they will enjoy my duties. I was quite fond of them at least.

What this does make me think about though is the method at which they did it. I was hired in June. I was hired given the impression that my job was not ending soon. They could have told me it was ending soon and I would have been fine. Its a contract position after all. Instead of this I go in thinking that this will be a good time to work within and upward toward my greater goals within a good company. Then there is a bit of a frenzy of lay-offs. quite a large group even. Thank goodness I survived it. They just had to trim the fat down in the group apparently so they could continue to function until the new year when things pick up again. This is the impression we all got. Some may have even been told this. I can't quote second hand facts though. This all is annoying, but one thing in particular really struck a chord with me and upset me quite a bit. The transformation update meeting that we received for good ole 2009.

Why would a meeting make me upset more than actually losing my job? well I wrote it on a post it note. Read it in order from top to bottom and it give the order of the information we receive. I'll break it down for those who don't frequent the office. a meeting titled "Transformation Update" tells you 2 things when you sit down and see the first slide. The first thing is that there is a transformation. A fairly drastic change that will cause a shift in functionality. Picture "big truck" to "Optimus friggin Prime". In the same way as a transformation of Optimus Prime would affect any person within a atleast a half a mile radius, A transformation of a company is also something you want a bit of a clue of before it starts happening. Good thing we are getting updated on the information we got from earlier last year about the tranformation of our department, right? Wrong, this is one of the parts that annoyed me. for the VAST majority of the people in that room, this was not an update. This was a news flash. If the CNN put this on their front page, 98 percent of the people in that meeting would have said "oh my gosh, really?" and not "oh interesting, I heard about this the other day". This means it is NOT an update. This is a "hey guys, look at this great thing that we've been working on for a year now!"

It is more effective. The efforts to convince us the streamlined nature of the new system, while showing detailed flowcharts of vague ideas, was their way of telling us that this is going to be a wonderful step in the right direction for our department and our company. I suppose their goal was to give us an idea of the hard work they put into the new processes, complete with new titles and job functions. This will make things a lot easier on this group of people shown here on the chart because they will only have to have single points of contact from this group of people here. Exciting right? I'm so happy they are making things easier on us. Oh, so easy that they didn't even put my position title on the board. i am also not really spotting any of the position titles or job duties of the majority of the department. We are very excited at our ability to expand during this transformation. We even have places in india in the works currently that will beable to help out with the process. This is great news... right?

You attempt to make me excited about that which will hurt me, and that is what hurts the most.

We all knew what this meant. They try not to lead us on. But we had another update later. This brings me to the third line. The epitome of Cool guy at school telling the nerd after school, "hey buddy, I'm throwing the bash of a year. Its going to be awesome. You'd love it. You so aren't invited". Lets also add in that this cool guy took the nerds wallet and threw it in the lake. Yeah, that feels about right now. How exactly are we supposed to be cool with this? You've actually been training people in another country to do our jobs, and now even asking us to make training material for them. At this point, none of the nerds want to go to your party, jerk. We just want you to stop making us type up the invitations to the party so we can find our own plans for the night.

so basically

Transformation... really?
More Effective.... for us?
you're not in it.... oh
sorry... :( ... I'm sure.

The Tides of Life Vary Like the Ocean

2009-01-28T17:37:00.003-05:00

I took this picture some time ago. I bring it back to the present because it is relevant now and in the future. You may ask, "Why is a year old picture a reflection of what you are thinking now?". If you did not ask this, then that is fine. Honestly if you did ask, I would not be able to hear you anyway. But if you are asking these random questions to yourself with no hopes of me actually hearing you ask it, then I shall provide you with my answer.

When I took this picture, I was actually a photographer at a wedding of a good friend of mine on sunset beach. My fellow photographer friend and I woke up early in the morning in order to catch some sunrise pictures. It is quite obvious in the picture that the conditions were slightly less than idea for the tranquil sunrise over the ocean pictures. In order to justify our ridiculous early rising, we took pictures anyway. I believe this picture is more important than any of the sunrise pretty pictures I possibly could have taken in my ideal situation. Why? It is because when I took this picture, I felt it. It caused my mind to think.

Ok, so people think. Big deal, I am sure you think at least two times a day(gross underestimate). So, when I say "it caused my mind to think", I mean a bit more than wondering what I am going to do about lunch at 11:45. Have you ever sat down and really contemplated the flow of life? Maybe you have thought about things in your past that may influence your present. Do you look to some sort of higher understanding to justify the waves of positive and negative events that occure in your timeline? That is what this photo represents to me. It is a reflection. In particular, it is a reflection of life. It is a reflection of time. I look to the ocean and the end I cannot see. I do not see what is causing the waves. I feel wind, which can make minor changes in the water. I feel the sand at my feet where the water stops. But, in the grand scheme of things, I can only accept the waves of life that come as I see them. No matter the explanation for the waves, they are coming and they are here. I look out and see the sky in the abyss like state that it is in. It shows no sign of a guiding force, but there is obviously something beyond my visual capacity that the water is reacting to. I see the waves, which go up and down and have no particular order in their motion except for the fact that when they go down, they eventually go up, and the other way around. Finally I see my feet. The water never is still at my feet. it gets higher and lower, harder and softer. I'm standing in the present, reacting to all of the things that life throws at my feet.

It also made me think "gosh this water is not warm at all", but that is beside the point. I guess overall you can think of the metaphor like this. the infinite is the cause. The waves are the past leading up to the present. the present is the shoreline where you should stand. If you go too deep into the past, you will drown in your own waves of life and lose sight of the present. and if you always think to the future. you will never experience the ever-unique sensations that can only be experienced on the shoreline of the present.

Times may be hard right now. But we must live in the present and see it through. When the waves carry you something worth while, you don't want to miss it because you were standing in the wrong place.

Round These Parts, Snow Ain't Common

2009-01-27T20:02:00.000-05:00

First, I should say that I am not a writer. I am not a journalist who has his bills paid by the eloquent manner of their speech and prose. I am a photographer (and even that is a bit on the iffy side). Maybe I should say that I am a person. I am a person who has emotions, and cognitive processes that need to be outwardly expressed from time to time. Some do this with music. Some paint their emotions on canvas. I take pictures and hang around the internet. This is the result.

But on to more important things. Welcome to North Carolina. The land of experiencing all 4 seasons in all of their glory within a week. Never been here? Check it out sometime. Try the tea. We have a speedway. We have mountains and beaches. But, here in the middle of North Carolina we rarely have snow. We are far from a desert. We get flurries every so often. Sometimes we get a good snow every couple years. Apparently This was one of those years. This picture was taken outside of my apartment on my balcony. Northerners are now allowed to snicker at my expression of the least bit of excitement over our 5 or so inches of snow. You have 5 minutes. Get it all out. Done yet? Good. I took this picture not because it was a monumental moment in my life, but because it was a time that is just uncommon enough here that it forced me out of my typical routine to just stop and smell the roses... er... snow. I'm sure you understand what I'm coming from. Maybe you are a starving college student who finally gets to go home to visit your parents after finals. You walk into the house and catch the aroma of that special dish that your mother knows you love oh so much. Maybe you are a busy "business professional" who rarely even takes a vacation without his business forward to your Blackberry. You don't ever leave your job mentally but you meet someone who, at least for a day, takes you out of your comfort zone enough to get your mind off work and on to more, or less, important things. That is what this snow represents. That is why this picture was taken. A time where one can stop thinking about bills, job security, relationships and start thinking about nothing in particularly important. Just to think "this makes me feel nice".

ok I promise when I say "worth a thousand words" I don't mean actually a thousand words. Everything won't be this long.